I’m Silently Judging You
Whether in person or online I am always judging you by your use of the English language. I am not proud of this, but I have come to terms with this fact. What I have not come to terms with is how relatively intelligent people can butcher their native tongue so badly. I’m not talking about colloquialisms or regional dialects and accents. Those actually intrigue me. I’m talking about malapropisms. You keep using these words, and I do not think they mean what you think they mean. [Insert copyrighted picture of Inigo Montoya here]
I see them written out in your Facebook statuses. I cannot accept your advice to “just except the inevitable.”
I hear them in your recounting of your day. I am bemused when you use that word until I realize you meant amused.
I hear them on the radio. I find it ironic and annoying that the song of that title doesn’t actually mention anything ironic.
I am surrounded by the incorrect uses of words, and it drives me crazy!
Not literally, of course, but figuratively crazy!
I assume the worst for your intelligence. Not because you don’t know what the word means, nobody knows every word in the English language, but because you didn’t take the time or effort to find out what the word means. You stayed willfully ignorant, and that is something I cannot fathom. I will judge you not for your lack of knowledge, but for your lack of inquisitiveness.
Until you learn how to use a dictionary, I’ll be over here, silently judging you.